《嘉莉妹妹》物质的引诱：美的魅力
THE LURE OF THE MATERIAL--BEAUTY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF
The true meaning of money yet remains to be popularly explained and comprehended. When each individual realises for himself that this thing primarily stands for and should only be accepted as a moral due--that it should be paid out as honestly stored energy, and not as a usurped privilege--many of our social, religious, and political troubles will have permanently passed. As for Carrie, her understanding of the moral significance of money was the popular understanding, nothing more. The old definition: "Money: something everybody else has and I must get," would have expressed her understanding of it thoroughly. Some of it she now held in her hand--two soft, green ten-dollar bills--and she felt that she was immensely better off for the having of them. It was something that was power in itself. One of her order of mind would have been content to be cast away upon a desert island with a bundle of money, and only the long strain of starvation would have taught her that in some cases it could have no value. Even then she would have had no conception of the relative value of the thing; her one thought would, undoubtedly, have concerned the pity of having so much power and the inability to use it.
The poor girl thrilled as she walked away from Drouet. She felt ashamed in part because she had been weak enough to take it, but her need was so dire, she was still glad. Now she would have a nice new jacket！ Now she would buy a nice pair of pretty button shoes. She would get stockings, too, and a skirt, and, and--until already, as in the matter of her prospective salary, she had got beyond, in her desires, twice the purchasing power of her bills.
She conceived a true estimate of Drouet. To her, and indeed to all the world, he was a nice, good-hearted man. There was nothing evil in the fellow. He gave her the money out of a good heart--out of a realisation of her want. He would not have given the same amount to a poor young man, but we must not forget that a poor young man could not, in the nature of things, have appealed to him like a poor young girl. Femininity affected his feelings. He was the creature of an inborn desire. Yet no beggar could have caught his eye and said, "My God, mister, I'm starving," but he would gladly have handed out what was considered the proper portion to give beggars and thought no more about it. There would have been no speculation, no philosophising. He had no mental process in him worthy the dignity of either of those terms. In his good clothes and fine health, he was a merry, unthinking moth of the lamp. Deprived of his position, and struck by a few of the involved and baffling forces which sometimes play upon man, he would have been as helpless as Carrie--as helpless, as non-understanding, as pitiable, if you will, as she.
Now, in regard to his pursuit of women, he meant them no harm, because he did not conceive of the relation which he hoped to hold with them as being harmful. He loved to make advances to women, to have them succumb to his charms, not because he was a cold-blooded, dark, scheming villain, but because his inborn desire urged him to that as a chief delight. He was vain, he was boastful, he was as deluded by fine clothes as any silly-headed girl. A truly deep-dyed villain could have hornswaggled him as readily as he could have flattered a pretty shop-girl. His fine success as a salesman lay in his geniality and the thoroughly reputable standing of his house. He bobbed about among men, a veritable bundle of enthusiasm--no power worthy the name of intellect, no thoughts worthy the adjective noble, no feelings long continued in one strain. A Madame Sappho would have called him a pig; a Shakespeare would have said "my merry child"; old, drinking Caryoe thought him a clever, successful businessman. In short, he was as good as his intellect conceived.
The best proof that there was something open and commendable about the man was the fact that Carrie took the money. No deep, sinister soul with ulterior motives could have given her fifteen cents under the guise of friendship. The unintellectual are not so helpless. Nature has taught the beasts of the field to fly when some unheralded danger threatens. She has put into the small, unwise head of the chipmunk the untutored fear of poisons. "He keepeth His creatures whole," was not written of beasts alone. Carrie was unwise, and, therefore, like the sheep in its unwisdom, strong in feeling. The instinct of self-protection, strong in all such natures, was roused but feebly, if at all, by the overtures of Drouet.
When Carrie had gone, he felicitated himself upon her good opinion. By George, it was a shame young girls had to be knocked around like that. Cold weather coming on and no clothes. Tough. He would go around to Fitzgerald and Moy's and get a cigar. It made him feel light of foot as he thought about her.
Carrie reached home in high good spirits, which she could scarcely conceal. The possession of the money involved a number of points which perplexed her seriously. How should she buy any clothes when Minnie knew that she had no money? She had no sooner entered the flat than this point was settled for her. It could not be done. She could think of no way of explaining.
"How did you come out?" asked Minnie, referring to the day.
Carrie had none of the small deception which could feel one thing and say something directly opposed. She would prevaricate, but it would be in the line of her feelings at least. So instead of complaining when she felt so good, she said:
"I have the promise of something."
"Where?"
"At the Boston Store."
"Is it sure promised?" questioned Minnie.
"Well, I'm to find out to-morrow," returned Carrie disliking to draw out a lie any longer than was necessary.
Minnie felt the atmosphere of good feeling which Carrie brought with her. She felt now was the time to express to Carrie the state of Hanson's feeling about her entire Chicago venture.
"If you shouldn't get it--" she paused, troubled for an easy way.
"If I don't get something pretty soon, I think I'll go home."
Minnie saw her chance.
"Sven thinks it might be best for the winter, anyhow."
The situation flashed on Carrie at once. They were unwilling to keep her any longer, out of work. She did not blame Minnie, she did not blame Hanson very much. Now, as she sat there digesting the remark, she was glad she had Drouet's money.
"Yes," she said after a few moments, "I thought of doing that."
She did not explain that the thought, however, had aroused all the antagonism of her nature. Columbia City, what was there for her? She knew its dull, little round by heart. Here was the great, mysterious city which was still a magnet for her. What she had seen only suggested its possibilities. Now to turn back on it and live the little old life out there--she almost exclaimed against the thought.
She had reached home early and went in the front room to think. What could she do? She could not buy new shoes and wear them here. She would need to save part of the twenty to pay her fare home. She did not want to borrow of Minnie for that. And yet, how could she explain where she even got that money? If she could only get enough to let her out easy.
She went over the tangle again and again. Here, in the morning, Drouet would expect to see her in a new jacket, and that couldn't be. The Hansons expected her to go home, and she wanted to get away, and yet she did not want to go home. In the light of the way they would look on her getting money without work, the taking of it now seemed dreadful. She began to be ashamed. The whole situation depressed her. It was all so clear when she was with Drouet. Now it was all so tangled, so hopeless--much worse than it was before, because she had the semblance of aid in her hand which she could not use.
Her spirits sank so that at supper Minnie felt that she must have had another hard day. Carrie finally decided that she would give the money back. It was wrong to take it. She would go down in the morning and hunt for work. At noon she would meet Drouet as agreed and tell him. At this decision her heart sank, until she was the old Carrie of distress.
Curiously, she could not hold the money in her hand without feeling some relief. Even after all her depressing conclusions, she could sweep away all thought about the matter and then the twenty dollars seemed a wonderful and delightful thing. Ah, money, money, money！ What a thing it was to have. How plenty of it would clear away all these troubles.
In the morning she got up and started out a little early. Her decision to hunt for work was moderately strong, but the money in her pocket, after all her troubling over it, made the work question the least shade less terrible. She walked into the wholesale district, but as the thought of applying came with each passing concern, her heart shrank. What a coward she was, she thought to herself. Yet she had applied so often. It would be the same old story. She walked on and on, and finally did go into one place, with the old result. She came out feeling that luck was against her. It was no use.
Without much thinking, she reached Dearborn Street. Here was the great Fair store with its multitude of delivery wagons about its long window display, its crowd of shoppers. It readily changed her thoughts, she who was so weary of them. It was here that she had intended to come and get her new things. Now for relief from distress; she thought she would go in and see. She would look at the jackets.
There is nothing in this world more delightful than that middle state in which we mentally balance at times, possessed of the means, lured by desire, and yet deterred by conscience or want of decision. When Carrie began wandering around the store amid the fine displays she was in this mood. Her original experience in this same place had given her a high opinion of its merits. Now she paused at each individual bit of finery, where before she had hurried on. Her woman's heart was warm with desire for them. How would she look in this, how charming that would make her！ She came upon the corset counter and paused in rich reverie as she noted the dainty concoctions of colour and lace there displayed. If she would only make up her mind, she could have one of those now. She lingered in the jewelry department. She saw the earrings, the bracelets, the pins, the chains. What would she not have given if she could have had them all！ She would look fine too, if only she had some of these things.
The jackets were the greatest attraction. When she entered the store, she already had her heart fixed upon the peculiar little tan jacket with large mother-of-pearl buttons which was all the rage that fall. Still she delighted to convince herself that there was nothing she would like better. She went about among the glass cases and racks where these things were displayed, and satisfied herself that the one she thought of was the proper one. All the time she wavered in mind, now persuading herself that she could buy it right away if she chose, now recalling to herself the actual condition. At last the noon hour was dangerously near, and she had done nothing. She must go now and return the money.
Drouet was on the corner when she came up.
"Hello," he said, "where is the jacket and"--looking down--"the shoes?"
Carrie had thought to lead up to her decision in some intelligent way, but this swept the whole fore-schemed situation by the board.
"I came to tell you that--that I can't take the money."
"Oh, that's it, is it?" he returned. "Well, you come on with me. Let's go over here to Partridge's."
Carrie walked with him. Behold, the whole fabric of doubt and impossibility had slipped from her mind. She could not get at the points that were so serious, the things she was going to make plain to him.
"Have you had lunch yet? Of course you haven't. Let's go in here," and Drouet turned into one of the very nicely furnished restaurants off State Street, in Monroe.
"I mustn't take the money," said Carrie, after they were settled in a cosey corner, and Drouet had ordered the lunch. "I can't wear those things out there. They--they wouldn't know where I got them."
"What do you want to do," he smiled, "go without them?"
"I think I'll go home," she said, wearily.
"Oh, come," he said, "you've been thinking it over too long. I'll tell you what you do. You say you can't wear them out there. Why don't you rent a furnished room and leave them in that for a week?"
Carrie shook her head. Like all women, she was there to object and be convinced. It was for him to brush the doubts away and clear the path if he could. "Why are you going home?" he asked.
"Oh, I can't get anything here."
They won't keep you?" he remarked, intuitively.
"They can't," said Carrie.
"I'll tell you what you do," he said. "You come with me. I'll take care of you."
Carrie heard this passively. The peculiar state which she was in made it sound like the welcome breath of an open door. Drouet seemed of her own spirit and pleasing. He was clean, handsome, well-dressed, and sympathetic. His voice was the voice of a friend.
"What can you do back at Columbia City?" he went on, rousing by the words in Carrie's mind a picture of the dull world she had left. "There isn't anything down there. Chicago's the place. You can get a nice room here and some clothes, and then you can do something."
Carrie looked out through the window into the busy street. There it was, the admirable, great city, so fine when you are not poor. An elegant coach, with a prancing pair of bays, passed by, carrying in its upholstered depths a young lady.
"What will you have if you go back?" asked Drouet. There was no subtle undercurrent to the question. He imagined that she would have nothing at all of the things he thought worth while.
Carrie sat still, looking out. She was wondering what she could do. They would be expecting her to go home this week.
Drouet turned to the subject of the clothes she was going to buy.
"Why not get yourself a nice little jacket? You've got to have it. I'll loan you the money. You needn't worry about taking it. You can get yourself a nice room by yourself. I won't hurt you."
Carrie saw the drift, but could not express her thoughts. She felt more than ever the helplessness of her case.
"If I could only get something to do," she said.
"Maybe you can," went on Drouet, "if you stay here. You can't if you go away. They won't let you stay out there. Now, why not let me get you a nice room? I won't bother you--you needn't be afraid. Then, when you get fixed up, maybe you could get something."
He looked at her pretty face and it vivified his mental resources. She was a sweet little mortal to him--there was no doubt of that. She seemed to have some power back of her actions. She was not like the common run of store-girls. She wasn't silly.
In reality, Carrie had more imagination than he--more taste. It was a finer mental strain in her that made possible her depression and loneliness. Her poor clothes were neat, and she held her head unconsciously in a dainty way.
"Do you think I could get something?" she asked.
"Sure," he said, reaching over and filling her cup with tea. "I'll help you."
She looked at him, and he laughed reassuringly.
"Now I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll go over here to Partridge's and you pick out what you want. Then we'll look around for a room for you. You can leave the things there. Then we'll go to the show to-night."
Carrie shook her head.
"Well, you can go out to the flat then, that's all right. You don't need to stay in the room. Just take it and leave your things there."
She hung in doubt about this until the dinner was over.
"Let's go over and look at the jackets," he said.
Together they went. In the store they found that shine and rustle of new things which immediately laid hold of Carrie's heart. Under the influence of a good dinner and Drouet's radiating presence, the scheme proposed seemed feasible. She looked about and picked a jacket like the one which she had admired at The Fair. When she got it in her hand it seemed so much nicer. The saleswoman helped her on with it, and, by accident, it fitted perfectly. Drouet's face lightened as he saw the improvement. She looked quite smart.
"That's the thing," he said.
Carrie turned before the glass. She could not help feeling pleased as she looked at herself. A warm glow crept into her cheeks.
"That's the thing," said Drouet. "Now pay for it."
"It's nine dollars," said Carrie.
"That's all right--take it," said Drouet.
She reached in her purse and took out one of the bills. The woman asked if she would wear the coat and went off. In a few minutes she was back and the purchase was closed.
From Partridge's they went to a shoe store, where Carrie was fitted for shoes. Drouet stood by, and when he saw how nice they looked, said, "Wear them." Carrie shook her head, however. She was thinking of returning to the flat. He bought her a purse for one thing, and a pair of gloves for another, and let her buy the stockings.
"To-morrow," he said, "you come down here and buy yourself a skirt."
In all of Carrie's actions there was a touch of misgiving. The deeper she sank into the entanglement, the more she imagined that the thing hung upon the few remaining things she had not done.
Since she had not done these, there was a way out.
Drouet knew a place in Wabash Avenue where there were rooms. He showed Carrie the outside of these, and said: "Now, you're my sister." He carried the arrangement off with an easy hand when it came to the selection, looking around, criticising, opining. "Her trunk will be here in a day or so," he observed to the landlady, who was very pleased.
When they were alone, Drouet did not change in the least. He talked in the same general way as if they were out in the street.
Carrie left her things.
"Now," said Drouet, "why don't you move to-night?"
"Oh, I can't," said Carrie.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to leave them so."
He took that up as they walked along the avenue. It was a warm afternoon. The sun had come out and the wind had died down. As he talked with Carrie, he secured an accurate detail of the atmosphere of the flat.
"Come out of it," he said, "they won't care. I'll help you get along."
She listened until her misgivings vanished. He would show her about a little and then help her get something. He really imagined that he would. He would be out on the road and she could be working.
"Now, I'll tell you what you do," he said, "you go out there and get whatever you want and come away."
She thought a long time about this. Finally she agreed. He would come out as far as Peoria Street and wait for her. She was to meet him at half-past eight. At half-past five she reached home, and at six her determination was hardened.
"So you didn't get it?" said Minnie, referring to Carrie's story of the Boston Store.
Carrie looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "No," she answered.
"I don't think you'd better try any more this fall," said Minnie.
Carrie said nothing.
When Hanson came home he wore the same inscrutable demeanour. He washed in silence and went off to read his paper. At dinner Carrie felt a little nervous. The strain of her own plans were considerable, and the feeling that she was not welcome here was strong.
"Didn't find anything, eh?" said Hanson.
"No."
He turned to his eating again, the thought that it was a burden to have her here dwelling in his mind. She would have to go home, that was all. Once she was away, there would be no more coming back in the spring.
Carrie was afraid of what she was going to do, but she was relieved to know that this condition was ending. They would not care. Hanson particularly would be glad when she went. He would not care what became of her.
After dinner she went into the bathroom, where they could not disturb her, and wrote a little note.
"Good-bye, Minnie," it read. "I'm not going home. I'm going to stay in Chicago a little while and look for work. Don't worry. I'll be all right."
In the front room Hanson was reading his paper. As usual, she helped Minnie clear away the dishes and straighten up. Then she said:
"I guess I'll stand down at the door a little while." She could scarcely prevent her voice from trembling.
Minnie remembered Hanson's remonstrance.
"Sven doesn't think it looks good to stand down there," she said.
"Doesn't he?" said Carrie. "I won't do it any more after this."
She put on her hat and fidgeted around the table in the little bedroom, wondering where to slip the note. Finally she put it under Minnie's hair-brush.
When she had closed the hall-door, she paused a moment and wondered what they would think. Some thought of the queerness of her deed affected her. She went slowly down the stairs. She looked back up the lighted step, and then affected to stroll up the street. When she reached the corner she quickened her pace.
As she was hurrying away, Hanson came back to his wife.
"Is Carrie down at the door again?" he asked.
"Yes," said Minnie; "she said she wasn't going to do it any more."
He went over to the baby where it was playing on the floor and began to poke his finger at it.
Drouet was on the corner waiting, in good spirits.
"Hello, Carrie," he said, as a sprightly figure of a girl drew near him. "Got here safe, did you? Well, we'll take a car.鈥�
关于金钱的真正意义，还有待人们的解释和理解。金钱不是代表掠夺来的特权，而只代表一个人应得的报酬，即诚实劳动的回报。只有在这种场合才可以接受金钱。如果人人都能认识到这些，我们许多社会问题，宗教问题和政治问题就会一劳永逸地解决了。至于嘉莉，她对金钱的道德意义的理解和一般人一样肤浅，并没有更高明一点的见解。鈥溄鹎悄持直鹑艘丫辛宋乙脖匦胗械亩鳎�澱飧龉爬系亩ㄒ蹇梢猿浞直泶锼哉飧鑫侍獾娜靠捶āＯ衷谒掷锬米诺木褪且恍┙鹎�--两张软乎乎的１０元绿色钞票。这两张票子让她感到自己的境遇好多了，这东西本身就是一种权力。有她这种想法的人，只要能得到一大捆钞票，就是被抛在荒岛也会甘心情愿的。只有长时间的挨饿以后，她才会明白，在某种情况下，金钱可能一点用处也没有。即使在那时候，她也不会明白价值的相对性。毫无疑问，她会感到很遗憾，拥有了巨大的购买能力却用不上。
这可怜的女孩在和杜洛埃分手时非常地激动。她有点羞愧，因为她没有勇气拒绝而接受了他的钱。可是因为她的需要实在太迫切了，所以她又很高兴自己收了钱。现在她可以买一件漂亮的新外套了！她还要买一双漂亮的带暗扣的鞋子，还要买长统袜子，买裙子，买--就像当初核计如何花她没到手的薪水一样，她现在想要的东西超出了这些钱的购买力的２倍还不止。
她对杜洛埃的长处有了充分的评价。像人们普遍的看法一样，她认为他是个热心肠的好人。他没有一点恶意，他给她钱是出于好心，出于理解她急需用钱。当然对一个穷小子，他出手不会这么大方的。但是我们不能忘记，照常理，一个穷小子当然不会像一个穷丫头那样能够打动他的心。女性这个因素影响了他的情感，他的性欲是天生的。然而任何一个叫化子只要让他看见了，只要那人说声：鈥溙炷模壬叶龌盗恕ｂ�澦欢ɑ岷芾忠獾靥统鍪实钡那创蚍⑺缓蟀颜馐峦谀院蟆Ｋ换嵩偃ネ坡郏偃プ髡芾淼奶骄俊Ｋ乃嘉疃膊慌溆猛坡酆驼芾碚饬礁鲎盅郏彼鹿诔硖遄呈凳保歉龌独值奈抻俏蘼堑娜恕＞拖穹啥昶说埔谎分鹱派砝帧５侨绻坏┦チ斯ぷ鳎偈苄┳脚说纳缁崾屏兔说陌诓己痛蚧鳎嵯窦卫蛞谎治薏�--如果你愿意这么说的话，像她一样孤苦无靠，无可奈何，一样的可怜巴巴。
至于他喜欢追女人这一点，其实他并不想伤害她们，他并不认为他想和她们建立的那种关系会伤害她们。他喜欢追女人，喜欢她们拜倒在他的魅力之下，这并不是因为他是个怜酷无情，心地阴暗，诡计多端的恶棍，而是因为他天生的欲望驱使着他这么做，这是他的主要乐趣。他爱虚荣，爱吹嘘，像个傻丫头一样迷恋漂亮衣服。就像他能轻易讨得一个女店员的欢心一样，一个真正老谋深算的恶棍会同样轻易地把他骗了。作为一个推销员，他的成功要归于他的对人和气恳切以及他服务的那家公司的声誉。他在人群中活跃地走动，像一盆火一样热情，不过他并没有可以称得上智慧的才华，没有一种可以称得上高尚的思想，也没有一种永恒持久的感情。古希腊女诗人萨福夫人会叫他一头猪，莎士比亚则会叫他：鈥溛业奶巴娴暮⒆印ｂ�澦木乒砝习寮永锱防系衔歉龃厦鞒晒Φ纳倘恕�
简言之，他照自己的理解是个好人。
他胸襟坦荡，具有值得称道的优点，这可以从嘉莉拿了他的钱这一点看出。没有一个老奸巨滑，心怀叵测的家伙能够在友谊的幌子下让她收下一毛钱。天生愚笨的人并不像我们想的那样容易上当受骗。造物主赋予野外的走兽以本能，一遇到突如起来的危险威胁就逃之夭夭。花栗鼠愚蠢的小脑袋里却有天生的对于毒药的恐惧。鈥溕系郾Ｈ丛斓耐蛭铮�澱獠⒉皇侵痪鸵笆薅浴＜卫虿淮厦鳎虼司拖褚煌酚薮赖拿嘌蛞谎楦星苛摇Ｗ晕冶；さ谋灸茉谡庵秩松砩贤ǔＪ呛芮苛业摹５嵌怕灏５慕咏绻导て鹆艘坏阕晕辣灸艿幕埃且彩俏⒑跗湮⒌摹�
嘉莉走后，他庆幸自己获得了她的好感。老天啊，让年纪轻轻的姑娘这样饱受折磨，太不像话了。冬天要来了，还没有御寒的衣服，太惨了。他要到费莫酒家来根雪茄。他想到她，脚步也变得轻漂漂了。
嘉莉兴高采烈地回到家。她几乎无法掩饰自己的高兴。不过这笔钱又带来了一些为难的问题。敏妮既然知道她没有钱，她怎么能去买衣服呢？一回到公寓，这个问题就明朗了。没办法的，她无法向敏妮解释的。
鈥溄裉煊惺裁唇峁库�澝裟菸实溃傅氖前滋煺夜ぷ鞯氖隆�
那种嘴上说一套心里想一套的骗人花招，嘉莉一点也不会。所以即使掩饰搪塞，她也得找个和她心情一致的借口。现在她的心情既然那么好，她不能假装抱怨，所以她就说：鈥溣械忝寄苛恕ｂ�濃�溤谀睦铮库�濃�溤诤核苟偕痰辍ｂ�濃�溦娴挠邢Ｍ穑库�澝裟葑肺实馈�
鈥溄形颐魈烊ヌⅲ�澕卫蛩怠Ｋ幌不栋鸦蜒酝铣さ讲槐匾牡夭健�
敏妮能感觉到嘉莉的欢乐情绪，她想眼下是个适当时机，可以向嘉莉解释汉生关于她的芝加哥之行的看法。
鈥溔绻阏也坏焦ぷ鞯幕�--鈥澦Ａ讼吕矗恢栏迷趺纯凇�
鈥溔绻也荒苈砩险业焦ぷ鞯幕埃蚁氲没丶伊恕ｂ�澝裟莞峡觳皇被厮担衡�準肺木醯枚旎故腔厝サ暮谩ｂ�澕卫蛄⒓疵靼琢怂拇场ＫЯ艘担遣辉敢庠倭羲×恕Ｋ还置裟荩膊缓芄趾荷Ｏ衷冢彼谀抢锏肓孔耪庑┗笆保煨易约耗昧硕怕灏５那�
鈥準堑摹ｂ�澒艘换岫炙担�溛以缬姓飧龃蛩懔恕ｂ�澆还挥懈嫠呙裟荩丶艺饧乱鹆怂灸艿那苛曳锤小８缏妆妊浅牵堑胤接惺裁词屎纤氖履兀磕侵值サ飨涟纳钏缇屠檬炝恕Ｖゼ痈缯飧鑫按笊衩氐某鞘腥韵翊盘谎潘吹降哪且恍〔糠纸沂玖怂奈尴藁龊颓熬啊Ｒ幌氲揭肟飧龃蟪鞘校馗缏妆妊枪郧澳侵址ξ犊闪纳睿岫竦眉负跻辛顺隼础�
这天她回来得早，就走到前屋去想心事。她该怎么办呢？
她无法买了新鞋子在这里穿。这２０元钱中她还得留下一点当回家的路费，因为她不想问敏妮借路费。但是她怎么向敏妮解释钱是从哪里来的呢？但愿她能挣到足够的钱摆脱这个困境就好了。
她反复想着她的为难的处境。明早，杜洛埃会期望她穿上新外套，可这是做不到的。汉生一家想叫她回老家，她想离开他们，却不想回老家。她没有找到工作却有了钱，他们会如何看她呢？她现在感到拿了杜洛埃的钱好像是件很可怕的事，于是她开始羞愧。她的处境让她沮丧不快。和杜洛埃在一起时，一切都那么简单。而现在一切都纠结在一起，理不出一个头绪--事情比原来还要糟糕，因为她尽管有了一笔可以解决生活问题的钱，却没法用这笔钱。
她的情绪非常低落，所以吃晚饭时敏妮猜想她这一天又是白跑了。嘉莉最后决定要把钱退回去。拿钱是不对的，明早她要去市里找工作。到中午时，她将按他们的约定去见杜洛埃，把一切都告诉他。一想到这个决定，她的心就往下沉，最后她又成了原先那个痛苦忧伤的嘉莉。
说来奇怪，当她把钱握在手里时，却感到一点安慰。虽然她已经做了那个让她伤心的决定，可以不用再去想这件事，这２０元钱似乎仍是个奇妙可喜的东西。啊，钱啊钱，有了钱是多么好埃只要有了大把的钱，一切烦恼就会消失了。
第二天清早，她起早出了门。她找工作的决心不算小，但是口袋里这笔伤脑筋的钱并没有使找工作的事情轻松些。她走进批发行商业区，但是每当她走到一个商号，打算进去申请工作时，她的勇气就消失了。她心里骂自己是胆小鬼，不过她已经申请了这么多次，结果还不是一样。所以她继续往前走，走了又走，最后终于走进了一家商号。结果还是老样子。她出来时感到命运在和她作对，因此一切努力都是徒劳的。
没有怎么考虑，她就信步到了第邦街。大商场就在这里，门口散放着运货的小车，还有长长的一列橱窗和成群的顾客。
这些立刻使她改变了思路，她不再去想那些让她厌烦的问题。
她原先就是打算到这里来买新衣服的。现在为了解愁，她决定进去瞧瞧。她很想看看那些外套。
有时一个人手头尽管有钱，又受欲望的驱使想买一样东西，可是他也许受了良心的阻止，或者心里拿不定主意，所以在心里不断掂量权衡，并不急于去买。世界上再没有比这种要买没买的中间状态更令人愉快了。嘉莉在店里那些漂亮的陈列其中间转悠，她的心情就是这样。她上次来这里时，这地方给她留下了很好的印象。现在，她在那些漂亮的东西面前不再匆匆走过。她在每样东西面前停留，女性的心热烈地企盼着得到它们。要是穿上这件的话，她会显得多可爱埃啊，那一件又会使她多迷人啊！她来到女胸衣柜台，看到那些做工精美，颜色缤纷，有花边装饰的胸衣时，停下了脚步，陷入丰富的遐想。只要她能拿定主意，她现在就可以买上一件。在珠宝柜台，她又久久逗留，欣赏着那些耳环，手镯，饰针和金链条。要是能够拥有这一切，又有什么代价她会舍不得付出呢。只要她也戴上几件这类首饰，她同样会看上去雍容华丽。
最吸引她的是那些外套。她刚走进店里，就一眼看中了一件黄褐色的小外套，上面缀着大大的珠母钮扣。这种款式这年秋天很新潮。不过她仍打算多看看，瞧瞧有没有比这件更好的。她在陈列衣服的玻璃橱和货架中间走来走去，满意地认为她看中的那件确实是最合适的。她犹豫不决，拿不定主意，一会儿想使自己相信，只要她愿意，她马上可以把那件衣服买下来，一会儿又想起了自己的实际处境。快到中午了，她还是什么也没买。现在她该去见杜洛埃，把钱还给他。
她到那里时，杜洛埃正站在街上转弯的地方。
鈥湽䥺�澦担�溸祝懵虻耐馓啄兀库�澦殖驴醋潘慕牛�溁褂行幽兀库�澕卫虮鞠胱淠ń堑亟疤庖剿耐饲木龆ㄈィ墒嵌怕灏Ｕ饷匆晃剩阉认牒玫哪且惶兹蚵伊恕�
鈥溛沂抢锤嫠吣悖�--我不能拿那些钱。鈥濃�溹牛钦饷椿厥掳ｂ�澦卮稹ｂ�溦庋桑愀依矗颐且黄鹕吓撂乩锲婀救ァｂ�澕卫蚝退黄鹱咦牛痪醢阎种忠陕呛臀弈味纪镁狻�
和他在一起，她就无法去考虑那些严肃问题，那些她想向他解释明白的事情。
鈥溎愠怨绶沽寺穑靠隙怀怨＠矗颐墙饫锩嫒ァｂ�澦底哦怕灏Ｗ碜呓怕藿稚峡拷固ㄌ芈返囊患也贾闷恋牟凸荨�
鈥溛也荒苣谜獗是ｂ�澦窃谝桓鍪媸实慕锹渥吕矗怕灏５懔宋绶挂院螅卫蛩档溃�溛以谖医憬慵颐环ò涯切┒鞔┏隼础Ｋ�--我不能让他们知道这些东西是从哪里来的。鈥濃�溎悄愦蛩阍趺窗欤库�澦⑿α耍�湶淮┮路穑库�濃�溛蚁胛业没乩霞胰ィ�澦痪虿傻厮怠�
鈥溊矗鹣肓耍�澦怠ｂ�溦馐虑槟阋丫氲锰嗔恕Ｎ依锤嫠吣阍趺窗臁Ｄ闼的阍谀抢锩环ù┱庑┮路Ｄ阄裁床蛔庖患浯揖愕姆考洌岩路谀抢锵确乓桓鲂瞧谀兀库�澕卫蛞×艘⊥贰＜卫蛳癖鸬母九谎哉庵痔嵋槌钟幸煲椋运剐枰腥怂捣６虮匦虢吡ο囊陕牵ㄇ迩敖牡缆贰�
鈥溎阄裁匆厝ツ兀库�澦省�
鈥溎闱疲以谡饫锸裁椿钜舱也坏健ｂ��
鈥溗遣豢狭裟阕×寺穑库�澦本醯匚实馈�
鈥溗橇舨黄穑�澕卫蛩档馈�
鈥溛依锤嫠吣阍趺窗欤�澦担�溎愀依矗晌依凑展四恪ｂ�澕卫蛱潘担挥刑岢龇炊浴Ｔ谒壳暗奶厥饩晨鱿拢怕灏５幕跋袷翘嫠蚩艘簧让牛虼怂醯煤苤刑６怕灏５男郧楹桶茫蠢春退ν逗稀Ｋ删弧⑵痢⒁伦趴季俊⒏挥型樾模运祷跋褚桓隼吓笥选�
鈥溎慊氐礁缏妆妊浅牵帜芨尚┦裁茨兀库�澦绦档馈Ｋ幕笆辜卫蚰院＠锔∠殖黾蚁缒切〉胤娇菰锏サ鞯纳畛【啊ｂ�溎抢锸裁匆裁挥小Ｖゼ痈绮攀谴笥锌晌牡胤健Ｄ阍谡饫锟梢哉腋龊梅考渥∠吕矗虻阋路缓罂梢哉腋鍪伦鲎觥ｂ�澕卫蚩醋糯巴夥被穆砺贰Ｍ饷婢褪橇钊司镜拇蟪鞘校灰阌星磺惺嵌嗝疵篮谩Ｒ涣净龅穆沓荡哟扒熬闪狡ゾ穸端拥淖睾齑舐砘犊斓乩牛沓道锩娴淖嫔献乓晃荒昵岬男〗恪�
鈥溎慊厝サ幕埃惺裁春么δ兀库�澏怕灏Ｎ实馈Ｋ幕袄锊⒚挥惺裁匆薜陌凳尽Ｔ谒蠢矗坏┗厝ィ兔挥谢岬玫侥切┧衔屑壑档亩鳌�
嘉莉一动不动地坐着，看着窗外。她在想她还有没有什么办法。姐姐他们是希望她这星期回去的。
杜洛埃把话题一转，开始谈她想买的衣服。
鈥溛裁床桓阕约郝蛞患恋男⊥馓啄兀空馐巧俨坏舻摹Ｇ闶俏医韪愕模悴挥玫Ｐ哪昧宋业那Ｄ憧梢愿约赫壹淦恋姆考洌也换嵘撕δ愕摹ｂ�溂卫蛎靼锥怕灏Ｖ傅氖鞘裁矗墒敲环ū泶镒约旱南敕ā�
她感到再没有比眼下的处境更为难的了。
鈥溡俏夷苷腋鍪裁词伦鼍秃昧耍�澦怠�
鈥溎闳绻粝吕矗�澏怕灏＜绦档溃�溎阋残砘岬摹？墒悄闳绻吡耍蔷驼也坏绞铝恕Ｋ羌热徊蝗媚阍僮∠氯ィ裁床蝗梦野锬阏腋龊梅考淠兀课也换岽蛉拍愕�--你不用害怕。然后等你安顿下来，你也许会找到个活的。鈥澦醋潘憷龅牧车埃悸繁涞没钤久艚萜鹄础Ｔ谒蠢矗媸且桓隹砂男∪硕�--这一点是不庸置疑的。她的一举一动都透出一种魔力。她和那些普通女工不一样，她没有傻气。
其实，嘉莉的想象力比他更丰富。趣味也更高雅。她情感细腻，所以落落寡欢，感到凄凉孤独。她的衣服虽然普通却很齐整，她的头不自觉地微微扬起，显出天然的风韵。
鈥溎闳衔夷苷业绞伦雎穑库�澦省�
鈥湹比粏ｂ�澦底派焓指谋拥股喜瑁�溛一岚镏愕摹ｂ�澦醋潘哺У匦πΑ�
鈥溝衷谀闾宜翟趺窗臁Ｎ颐堑秸饫锏呐撂乩锲婀救ヌ粞∧阋囊路Ｈ缓笪颐且黄鹑ヌ婺阏壹浞孔印Ｄ憧梢园涯愕亩髁粼谀抢铩＝裢砦颐侨タ聪贰ｂ�澕卫蛞×艘⊥贰�
鈥溔缓竽慊啬憬憬慵业墓⑷ズ昧恕Ｄ悴挥米≡谧獾姆考淅铮皇亲庾欧拍愕亩鳌ｂ�澋故怯淘ゲ痪觯恢钡匠酝攴埂�
鈥溝衷谖颐侨タ纯匆路桑�澦怠�
他们于是一起前往。店里琳琅满目，沙沙作响的新衣服立即把嘉莉迷住了。吃了一顿丰盛的午饭，又加上杜洛埃兴致勃勃的陪伴，使她开始感到他的提议似乎还可行。她在店里转悠了一圈以后，挑了一件和她在大商场看中的那件很相像的外套。这衣服拿在手上看时，显得更漂亮了。女店员帮她穿上这衣服，恰巧非常合身。杜洛埃看到嘉莉穿上这衣服更增风采，不禁欣然微笑：她看上去真是俏丽。
鈥溇褪钦饧茫�澦怠�
嘉莉在镜子前转着身子。她看到镜子里的自己，也不禁心喜，一抹喜悦的红晕悄悄爬上两颊。
鈥溇吐蛘饧桑�澏怕灏Ｋ担�湼肚伞ｂ��
鈥溡箍榍兀�澕卫蛩怠�
鈥溍还叵担蛳吕窗桑�澏怕灏Ｋ怠�
她把手伸进钱包，掏出一张钞票。女店员问她是不是要穿着走，然后就离开了。几分钟以后她又回来：衣服买好了。
从帕特里奇商店出来，他们去了一家鞋店。嘉莉试鞋子时，杜洛埃就站在旁边看。当他看到鞋子穿在嘉莉脚上很漂亮时，就说，鈥溇痛┱馑伞ｂ�澋羌卫蛞×艘⊥罚诨叵虢憬慵业氖隆Ｋ蛄艘桓銮致蛄艘凰痔祝缓笕盟虺ね惩嘧印�
鈥湹让魈欤�澦担�溎愕秸饫锢绰蛱跞棺印ｂ�澕卫蛟诼蛘饴蚰堑氖焙颍睦镒苡行┿枫凡话病Ｋ谡飧星榈木栏鹬邢莸迷缴睿阶云燮廴说叵胂螅灰蛔瞿切┧形醋龅氖戮兔挥泄叵怠＜热凰挥凶瞿切┦拢褂谐樯淼幕帷�
杜洛埃知道华拔士路有个地方出租房间。他领着嘉莉到了那座房子外面就说：鈥溝衷谀闼阄业拿妹谩ｂ�澰谔粞》考涫保饫锟纯矗抢锴魄疲炖锓⒈碜趴捶ǎ崴傻匕炎夥康氖掳焱琢恕ｂ�溗南渥右涣教炀驮死矗�澦饷炊苑慷怠７慷撕芨咝恕�
他们俩单独在一起时，杜洛埃的态度一点没有变。他像一个普通朋友那样交谈着，仍像在街上众目睽睽之下一样。嘉莉把东西留在了那里。
鈥溙宜担�澏怕灏Ｋ担�溎憬裢砭桶崂醋〔缓寐穑库�濃�溹牛遣恍校�澕卫蚧卮稹�
鈥溛裁床恍校库��
鈥溛也辉敢庹庋肟恰ｂ��
他们在林荫大道走时，他又提起了这个话题。那是个温暖的下午，风歇了，太阳出来了。他从嘉莉的谈话中，对她姐姐家的气氛有了一个详细正确的了解。
鈥湴岢隼窗桑�澦担�溗遣换嵩谝獾摹Ｎ依窗锬愕拿Αｂ�澦盘牛ソサ厮囊陕窍Я恕Ｋ岽潘酱纯矗缓蟀锼腋龉ぷ鳌Ｋ肥迪嘈潘嵴饷醋龅摹Ｋ雒湃ネ葡跷锸保梢匀ド习唷�
鈥溊矗依锤嫠吣阍趺窗欤�澦怠ｂ�溎慊氐侥抢铮蒙夏愕亩鳎缓缶屠肟抢铩ｂ�澦哉飧鎏嵋橄肓撕芫茫詈笸饬恕Ｋ叩奖永镅墙郑谀抢锏人Ｋ撬岛茫傅惆牖岷稀＃档惆胨氐搅思摇５搅耍兜悖木鲂募岫恕�
鈥溦饷此担忝挥械玫侥欠莨ぷ鳎库�澝裟菟担傅氖羌卫蚯耙惶毂嘣斓牟ㄋ苟俟镜墓ぷ鳌�
嘉莉用眼角看了她一眼。鈥溍挥校�澦卮稹�
鈥溛铱唇衲昵锾炷悴挥迷僬伊耍�澝裟菟怠�
嘉莉没有回答。
汉生回到家里，脸上仍是一副莫测高深的表情。他一声不响地洗了澡，就走到一边去看报了。吃晚饭时，嘉莉有些心神不定，出走计划给她带来了沉重的思想压力，同时她深切地感到自己在这里不受欢迎。
鈥溁姑徽业焦ぷ髀穑库�澓荷省�
鈥溍挥校��
他转过脸去继续吃饭，脑子里想着留她住在这里是个负担。她得回家去，就是这么回事。这次走了，明年开春她就不会再来了。
对于自己即将做的事，嘉莉心里感到害怕。但是想到这里的生活要结束了，她心里又一阵轻松。他们不会在意她的，尤其汉生对她的离开会感到高兴。他才不会管她发生什么事呢。
吃过晚饭，她走进洗澡间写条子，在那里他们不会打扰她的。
鈥溤偌裟荨ｂ�澦谔踝永镄吹溃�溛也换丶摇Ｎ一挂谥ゼ痈缱∫欢问奔湔夜ぷ鳌１鸬Ｐ摹Ｎ一岷芎玫摹ｂ�澰谇拔荩荷诳幢ā＜卫蛳裢Ｒ谎镏裟菹戳送耄帐傲朔考洹Ｈ缓笏担衡�溛蚁氲铰ハ麓竺趴谡疽换岫ｂ�澦嫡饣笆保舨唤行┎丁�
敏妮想起了汉生的告诫。
鈥準肺木醯门⒆诱驹诼ハ掠械悴谎殴郏�澦怠�
鈥準锹穑库�澕卫蛩担�溡院笪也换嵩偃チ恕ｂ�澦魃厦弊樱谛∥允业淖雷优杂淘チ艘换岫恢腊烟踝尤侥睦锖鲜省Ｗ詈笏烟踝臃旁诿裟莸耐贩⑺⒆拥紫隆�
她走出房间，关上了外面门厅的大门，不禁停住脚步，猜想他们会怎么看待这件事。她自己出格的举动也使她情绪波动。慢慢地她走下楼梯。在大门口，她又回身朝上看着灯光下的楼梯。随后她装着在马路上遛达的样子慢慢往前走。到了马路拐弯的地方，她加快了脚步。
在她匆匆离去时，汉生又回到了他妻子身边。
鈥溂卫蛴值铰ハ麓竺趴谌チ寺穑库�澦省�
鈥準前。�澝裟菟担�溗鹩σ院蟛徽庋恕ｂ��
他走到宝宝跟前，宝宝正在地板上玩。于是他伸出手指去逗宝宝玩。
杜洛埃正在马路转弯处等候，心情很兴奋。
鈥溛梗卫颍�澘吹揭桓雠⒌馁挥盎钇玫叵蛩呃矗傲似鹄矗�溒桨参奘拢圆欢裕坷矗颐墙幸涣境怠ｂ��
| 相关文章： | ◇ 荷花姑娘 | ◇ 《用婴儿交换小羊羔》续 |
| ◇ 如何让孩子快乐的学习？ | ◇ 猴子摘桃 |
|
|
